Ok, deep breath. Let’s do this…
You have two options when it comes to the Vows:
A) You can use the traditional wording.
B) You can write your own.
What you go with is totally your preference. If you’re not keen to say too much, you can roll with option A, which goes a little something like this:
““I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A, take thee, B, to be my lawful wedded husband (wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.””
The other alternative is writing your own. And don't worry - they really ain’t that scary. My tip is to keep it short and sharp. And try to add in some details that are unique to you and your partner.
Let’s break it down with a guided example. I'm using my friend and high school crush Kate Jarred as an example. You should probably base yours on your partner. It'll be weird if you start talking about Kate at the ceremony.
1 - Write down three things you love about your partner
a) Kate's quirky humour;
b) Kate's love of Monday Pie Night;
c) Kate's caring nature.
2 - Write a sentence or two on each of those things
a) Humour – I love Kate’s quirky humour, especially in awkward situations;
b) Pie Night – I love how excited Kate gets when she gets everyone together for pie night at the Windsor castle every Monday night;
c) Caring nature – I admire how Kate pays attention to any person regardless of who they are or their situation.
3 – Write down one thing you want to achieve with your partner
I want to spend the rest of my life making sure Kate lives the life she wants to live
Great! Now it's just a matter of elaborating on what you've written. You'll also want to use a very basic structure. In the example below, I've used the three points that I love about Kate and ended it with what I hope to achieve with her in the future:
“Kate, I love the way you make friends and strangers laugh, either intentionally or unintentionally.
I love how excited you get when all of our friends get together, especially every Monday for Pie Night at the Windsor castle.
I love how involved you make everyone feel, regardless of the person or their situation. You have a bubbly energy and endless optimism that brightens everyone’s day.
I don’t want to make any grand promises or massive announcements about our future. I love our relationship the way it is.
And I can’t wait to spend the next 70 years with you.”
Pretty easy, huh? There's a million ways you can do it, but this should provide a good starting point.
And if worse comes to worse, and your mind still hits a blank, then feel free to give me a holler. We can nail this thing together.
Good luck!
Paul
p.s. here's some vows templates that may come in handy:
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